My cat gives me a boner
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
