wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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