I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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