New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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