you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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