kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
