so let's talk penis.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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