"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
