I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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