Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
