Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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