Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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