They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
