I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
only if we run a train.
done.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
