Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
