When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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