I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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