Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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