i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
