Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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