some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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