We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
