i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
