No stitches, just platelets and will power
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
