even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
love makes seman taste better
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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