i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize