One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if i died would you start the facebook group?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
