So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
