It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize