does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
