Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
