Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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