I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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