Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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