i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
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you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
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Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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