And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
