And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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