I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm passing your future prison.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
