I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
