There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
