i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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