Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
