There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
