STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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