the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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