I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
