My boss' voice literally gives me gas
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
