Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
