I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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