ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
