I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
