Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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