wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
