and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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