we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sober January is a disaster.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
