Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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