Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
