I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
