i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
