Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
