If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
