My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
