Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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