I can tuck mytits in my pants
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
